Rod and Anton

December 18, 2009

Rod Redhouse, the Drawing Office manager, is on stage talking on the phone whilst typing with one hand and doing something else with the other. He is working quickly while around him all the drawers are doing what they do.  He is not stressed though: he is smiling as he puts the phone down. All the lights dim (except a spotlight on Rod) and the drawers frieze in time as Rod looks round, then sings to the audience:

ROD:

I manage the Drawers with a laugh!
I’m joking all the while.
That’s the way to deal with staff,
They work better with a smile!

I don’t mean to boast but I’m the best!
I’m the manager they all want to be!
I am a cut above the rest,
I’m just a chilled out entertainer you see!

I live my job straight 24/7
I want no other life!
To work all day is simply Heaven!
(But just don’t tell my wife!)

Brainstorming ideas and writing reports,
meeting those deadlines and meetings with staff,
Liasing with clients and holding the fort.
And all with a joke and with a laugh!

There then follows a brief instrumental in which the action resumes and the lights come back on. Rod walks round the office performing tasks to the beat of the music before leaving the drawing office and bumping in to Anton Swine in the reception area between Graphics and Consultancy:

[to Anton] How are you this fine day?
Ah! Anton my old mate!
And if I may just say:
You’re looking really great!

[aside] He thinks I am his mate;
He couldn’t be more wrong!
My friendship is a fake,
But my hatred’s burning strong!

ANTON:

[to Rod] Why thank you very much
For your kind words today!
They leave me very touched,
Much more than I can say!

[aside] He thinks he’s fooling me!
Oh yeah! I know his game:
He hates me vervently!
And I hate him the same!

BOTH:

And where will this all lead!
We’ll have to wait and see,
One of us must concede;
And it sure will not be me!

My mind just starts yearning (yearning!)
For the money I’ll soon be earning
And my stomach it is churning (churning!)
‘Cause my hatred it is burning!

ANTON:

[to Rod] I’ve heard you’re entering the competition
To be manager of the year.
Good luck with this decision,
When I win I’ll buy you a beer!

[aside] Ha! That’ll ruffle his feathers!
He’s too big for his boots!
This storm he will not weather,
It’ll shake him to his roots!

ROD:

[to Anton] Don’t speak so quickly, my old chum!
I think we ought to choose,
Only for a bit of fun,
What you’ll do when you loose!

[aside] Ah ha! a bet! This should be fun.
I can’t wait to see his face
When the announcement comes and I have won
This big managerial race!

BOTH:

And where will this all lead!
We’ll have to wait and see,
One of us must concede;
And it sure will not be me!

My mind just starts yearning (yearning!)
For the money I’ll soon be earning
And my stomach it is churning (churning!)
Cause my hatred it is burning!

ANTON:

A wager you say! What a splendid idea!
I never would have thought
That you would tweak the nose of fear;
But it’s a battle that has to be fought!

ROD:

I see your true colours are showing bright!
Yeah! Now I know your mind!
If it’s battle you want – you’ve got your fight!
You’ve said it, you cannot rewind!

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