I’ve Dug Up the Past

December 18, 2009

Anton has his eye on Annie and sees Gary as a potential threat to his plans. He has noticed the way they look at each other and knows that it is only a matter of time before they get together. Unable to face the prospect of Annie preferring a common digger to him, he sets about uncovering dirt in Gary’s past to put Annie off him. It will be sung in a jaunty way to cover up the very interesting scanning issues in the lyrics…..

The past is waiting to be discovered!
It’s lying only just beneath site!
All it needs is someone to uncover,
All the evidence and bring it to light.
And then, oh, the interpretation begins!
And your guess is as good as mine,
Just what is the meaning of cup and rings?
And those standing stones erected so high?

I have dug up the past, oh yeah,
And it’s colourful stuff!
It went off my munsel chart scale.
There was so much dirt there,
There wasn’t time enough
To dig it all – I really can’t fail!

What I’ve dug up is gritty
And dirty as tar
And I’ll tar him with this brush,
And when Annie hears my ditty
She’ll want to be far
From this rogue with his stupid little crush!

I took all of the evidence,
Made the story that’s juiciest
That fits with it loosely the best.
Then, once my theory was planned
Like any good archaeologist
I blatantly made up the rest!

Like a digger I once knew
Who had the right idea,
Who found a small ditch on a hill.
He wrote in his review,
so it sounded sincere:
It’s an opida, I can tell from the fill!

Archaeologists learn how to lie,
Or embellish sparse fact
To make something from what we’ve dug out
When theorising we try,
To be plausible and to hide that
We don’t know what we’re talking about! *shrugs*

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