Diggin’ an ‘ole (B. Cribbins)

December 18, 2009

On Friday nights the diggers and the office workers are united for a drink at the local pub, The Hawk. It is here that our hero first sees Annie, but only briefly. He is transfixed however, and is not paying attention to his two best friends, Archie and Dug, as they recount a humorous story from the week gone by to an otherwise enthralled table of people. They are very animated and take up the different roles between them:

There I was, a-diggin this hole
Hole in the ground
So big and sort of round it was.
And there was I, a-diggin it deep
It was flat at the bottom and the sides were steep.

When along came this bloke in a hard hat
Which he lifted and scratched his head.
Wo! He looked down the hole
Poor demented soul and he said:

Do you mind if I make a suggestion?

Don’t dig there, dig it elsewhere
You’re digging it round when it ought to be square.
The shape of it’s wrong, it’s much too long
And you can’t dig a hole where a hole don’t belong.

I ask you, what a liberty eh! I nearly bashed him right in the …

Well there was I, stood in this hole
Shovelling earth for all that I was worth I was
And there was he, standin’ up there
So grand and official with his nose in the air.

So I gave him a look sort of sideways
And I leaned on my shovel and sighed.
Wo! I lit me a fag
And having took a drag I replied:

I just couldn’t bear to dig it elsewhere
I’m digging it round cause I don’t want it square.
And if you disagree, that doesn’t bother me
That’s the place where the hole’s gonna be!

Well there we were, discussing this hole
Hole in the ground, so big and sort of round it was
It’s not there now, the ground’s all flat
And beneath it is the bloke in the safety hat!

And that’s that!

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