Digger Happy!

December 18, 2009

The scene is the introduction of the diggers and Gary Muckley, who is working centre stage. It is a sunny day and all are clearly in a genial mood. There is much light-hearted banter flying around as they dig. All the actions and sounds of the work are synchronised and the comments and replies are all delivered in rhyming couplets. The light gradually focuses on one particular member of the group: it is Gary. He lifts his head half to his workmates and half to the audience and sings:

Some work for their bosses in cosy warm rooms, (typing and typing and typing and typing!)
And all the while they don’t question their dooms, (typing and typing and typing and typing!)
They sit there for hours till 5:30 arrives, (typing and typing and typing and typing!)
Each day is a struggle just to survive!

I don’t like routine; it’d make my head ache!
The endless monotony would make me stagnate!
I’m an outdoor man, I can’t settle down!
I’m the happy bachelor, the man about town!

My mother always told me, “Get a white collar job!” (typing and typing and typing and typing!)
“Find a nice wife, get a house and a dog, (typing and typing and typing and typing!)
“Invest in a pension and wait for your carriage clock”, (typing and typing and typing and typing!)
Well, my poor dear mother, I’ve been such a shock!

I don’t like routine; it’d make my head ache!
The endless monotony would make me stagnate!
I’m an outdoor man, I can’t settle down!
I’m the happy bachelor, the man about town!

I’m just digger happy! (digger happy!)
The tools of my trade
Are the trowel, pic and spaaaaaade!
I’m just digger happy! (digger happy!)
The thrill of the find
Makes me feel I’m aliiiiiiive!
I’m just digger happy (digger happy!)
Who could want more
Than the wide, fresh outdoors?
I’m digger happy! (yes, digger happy!)
Life is a game
You can win – so lets plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Why stay in one place when the world’s for the take? (digging and digging and digging and digging!)
I’m circuit digging, there’s no time to wait! (digging and digging and digging and digging!)
Life is too short to hang around (digging and digging and digging and digging!)
I’m a rolling stone, who can say where I’m bound!

I don’t like routine; it’d make my head ache!
The endless monotony would make me stagnate!
I’m an outdoor man, I can’t settle down!
I’m the happy bachelor, the man about town!

Oh I play the field, yeah, and see the sites. (digging and digging and digging and digging!)
I dig all the day and I party all night! (digging and digging and digging and digging!)
I’ve not got much money but I’ve got all I need, (digging and digging and digging and digging!)
Just who in the world could feel more free!

I don’t like routine; it’d make my head ache!
The endless monotony would make me stagnate!
I’m an outdoor man, I can’t settle down!
I’m the happy bachelor, the man about town!

I’m just digger happy! (digger happy!)
The tools of my trade
Are the trowel, pic and spaaaaaade!
I’m just digger happy! (digger happy!)
The thrill of the find
Makes me feel I’m aliiiiiiive!
I’m just digger happy (digger happy!)
Who could want more
Than the wide, fresh outdoors?
I’m digger happy! (yes, digger happy!)
Life is a game
You can win – so lets plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

…at this point all the diggers begin dancing in a kind of Mary Poppins chimney sweep style way. There is an orchestra instrumental featuring the diggers, with Gary in the middle, in a line facing the stage dancing round their tools. Some of them, during the course of the instrumental, break away from the main group to perform little acts of choreographed acrobatics individually or in pairs. The music gets gradually faster and faster and the stunts get wackier and wackier as the dancers try to out-do each other until the music returns to its normal tempo, then slower still as Gary steps forward and sings:

(sad verse) I don’t know how long all this can last, (digging and digging and digging and digging!)
They say you die young if you dare to live fast. (digging and digging and digging and digging!)
If I let the moss grow I would feel the loss, (digging and digging and digging and digging!)
Life wouldn’t be worth living you see, yeah, because…

…back to original tempo…

I’m just digger happy! (digger happy!)
The tools of my trade
Are the trowel, pic and spaaaaaade!
I’m just digger happy! (digger happy!)
The thrill of the find
Makes me feel I’m aliiiiiiive!
I’m just digger happy (digger happy!)
Who could want more
Than the wide, fresh outdoors?
I’m digger happy! (yes, digger happy!)
Life is a game
You can win – so lets plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Rapturous applause
 

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